If I’m still pregnant the next time you see me, please don’t mention anything.  I’m going to be pregnant for the rest of my life.  Here is why:

1.  My doctor told me I was 2cm dilated and never told me that the baby had not dropped into my pelvis.  In fact, my doctor never gave me any straight answers, even when asked.  Because patients are to be seen and not heard, didn’t you know?  Patients do not need to be knowledgeable about their own bodies…that’s why they have doctors.

2.  When I arrived at the hospital at 8am, NO ONE knew I was coming, the nurses did not have any of the necessary paperwork on me, and the doctor on call had no idea that I was even there.  My doctor never called me to tell me that he would not be there today, and evidently, he never let the on-call doctor know that I would be one of her patients today.

3.  The on-call doctor tried to page my doctor several times so that they would be on the same page and so that she could start the induction.  She didn’t feel comfortable starting the Pitocin without his information, because apparently, our scenario doesn’t usually warrant one at this hospital without proof of the baby being larger than normal*.  When my doctor never answered her page, she came in to do a pelvic exam and determined that Nia’s head has not engaged into my pelvis.  She said that it is obvious to her that Nia is a large baby, and in her experience, she thinks that she has not dropped because her head is too large for my narrow pelvis.  She said that in her opinion, an induction will not work in my case, and a c-section is what I will end up with. 

I did not get a c-section today.

I did not get a c-section today because I am not this doctor’s patient, and without an ultrasound she could no tprove that one was necessary and  cover her ass if anything went wrong in the operating room.  Also, the head of the department at the hospital was informed of what was going on, and he did not feel comfortable with continuing my care under the circumstances. 

(* There is proof of the baby being larger than normal…my ultrasound from two weeks ago.  However, the on-call doctor said she needed an updated ultrasound today, and there was no one there on the weekend to do it.  This is complete bullshit as THIS IS A HOSPITAL and THE RESULTS OF MY LAST ONE ARE IN MY CHART.)

4.  I was instructed to call to make an ultrasound appointment on Monday to assess Nia’s size, and if she is in fact over 9lbs, a c-section will be scheduled (by the new doctor).  My first phone call will be to switch OBGYN’s. 

I thought I was going to meet my daughter today, and instead, I once again was kept in the dark by my physician, I learned that a vaginal delivery is unfavorable for my body even though he was going to put me on Pitocin and let me labor for at least 2 DAYS.  I felt like I was asking question after question and the only one giving me straight answers was a doctor I had never met before in my life as her fist was jammed into my cervix (speaking of which, she told me I was only 1cm dilated…not 2cm).  We sat at the hospital for 3 hours waiting for my doctor to answer his page…and he never answered.  If he would have done his job, if he would have had courtesy for his colleague AND for his patient, I would be holding my baby girl.  Instead, I am pissed off and still pregnant.

The odds of Nia coming on her own are not great, as there is nowhere for her to go…she probably wants the hell out of there, but the poor thing is stuck.  So I won’t be waiting for my water to break or for contractions to get any stronger.  I will only be waiting for good patient care…I hope I don’t have to wait forever.

Sorry if this post jumps around all over the place….my thoughts have no fluid movement when I want to punch someone…Tony, come here.  Let me punch you so that I can post a decent blog…