Daddy and I got to see you again yesterday for my 36 week ultrasound. The doctor is still a little nervous because I am measuring ahead of schedule, so he wanted to get your measurements to make sure you aren’t a toddler. I am pleased to tell you that you are a perfectly formed infant, and you are weighing in at six pounds, fourteen ounces. They are anticipating that if you stay in there until your due date, you will weigh about eight and a half pounds – a perfectly respectable size, in case you were worried.
I just want to warn you now that your father has an addiction to his iphone, and just because he was taking pictures of the ultrasound technician instead of looking at your beauty, it doesn’t mean he loves you any less. He has a sickness, you see, and he was completely sidetracked by the fact that she was an attractive version of his ex-girlfriend (his words, not mine). However, when I started laughing and said, “Look, Tony, I think she has your toes!”, he immediately stood up and looked at your feet and grinned from ear to ear. So maybe when you get here and he’s completely ignoring you because he’s on the phone, you should just remind him of how excited he was to see those toes and give him a good swift kick.
We also got to see some good views of your lovely face, but unfortunately, the pictures are a little blurred. Daddy and I both think that you have my upper lip (Grandma Alice’s genes are pretty strong when it comes to that lip), and I have to admit, that made me smile. We won’t know if any of this is accurate until we meet you, of course, but we’re having so much fun daydreaming. I already know that, no matter what, you are breathtaking…partly because you take my breath away, and mostly because God pieced you together. How can you be anything else?
Over the weekend, we sat around at Baba and Deda’s and played some music for you. You were loving the spotlight, performing like you just knew we were all watching. You seem to like the accordian and violin a lot, and you were equally energetic with Serbian, Gypsy, and Salsa music. We imagined you in there clapping at the end of each song, and “Opa!” -ing during the lively beats. We have no idea what you were really doing, but we do know that my belly was rolling and manipulating into the strangest shapes. You were right there spending the day with us, and I know at least for me, it made the day ten times better.
I get to kiss your face in three weeks…
I hope you like us…because I already love you more than I could ever express with words. It’s a feeling somewhere amidst a summer breeze before a thunderstorm and a tightened sob just as it is released…and while some people might view those as negatives…they are two of my most favorite feelings in the world. Because when the rain and the tears finally fall…what comes next is a moment that is fresh and new, a deep breath of the very first time. That’s you, Antonia. You are our next very first moment…and that, my love, is special.