If I had all of your addresses (this is the part where I pretend that thousands of readers venture to this blog daily), I would send you all greeting cards with photographs of a zoomed hydrangea on the front, that I bought in the “$.99!” section, of course.  Because that would be the frugal thing to do if you are sending greeting cards to 1000 people.  Also, how DO you spell hydrangea?  The inside of the card would read, “Thinking of You” and you would read it to yourself and think one of two things:

 

“Bullshit”

or

“Aww.  That’s so sweet! …I wonder why she’s thinking about me?”

 

Anyway, I might just send you something if I can find some spare time.  And?  When I find it?  I’ll definitely write on a regular basis.  But let me tell you that I DO have time to go see David Sedaris when he comes to town, and I DID go to see him, and I MUST TELL YOU ABOUT IT!  But I can’t right now.  So you’ll have to check your mailbox for that greeting card while you wait.  Go ahead…go check.

 

While you’re at it, go ahead and read this book.  It’s for teenagers and I love it.  Because I think I’m 17.

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