Tony and I have been together for almost two years now…we’re in love…we’re getting married…we’re happy…and his ex-girlfriend called him yesterday. It’s been about six months since the last time she called, so the calls are getting less frequent. Yet she can’t seem to stop. And it is making me want to beat myself over the head with a cinderblock to make the throbbing stop.
I know that Tony loves me, and I’m really not even worried about him. I don’t feel threatened by her or jealous of her or anything like that. I am angry at her and I don’t even know her that well. I am angry at her because it is rude. I think it is completely disrespectful to call a man’s cell phone knowing that he is in a relationship and that the person he is with would prefer you not to call. I think it is insane to call someone repeatedly when they, not once, have ever initiated a call to you. I think it is weird that once you are no longer in a relationship with someone, and you no longer move in the same circles, you don’t have any mutual friends, and there is not one reason to correspond…you call anyway just to catch up. Last time I checked, there wasn’t much to catch up on…you don’t even know each other anymore.
I don’t know about everyone else in this world, but when you are in a relationship as long as they were, or as long as I was with my ex…when the break up was so devastating…there is no right time to call. There is not a way to just be friends. I was forced to learn this when I tried to keep in touch with my ex after we parted ways, and I realized (thanks to his girlfriend at the time, who I didn’t know existed) that we all needed to move on with our lives, so I walked away. And it was the best thing I ever did because now I am with the man who I was meant to be with.
I am reminded of a line in Fried Green Tomatoes where Sipsy says to Idgie, “You see, Ruth was a lady, and a lady always knows when to leave.”