Tony and I were watching Friends (surprise) the other night, and it was the episode where Phoebe is dating Monica’s soul mate and Chandler is jealous because Monica and the soul mate really do hit it off. Sidenote: Where does that expression come from? Hit what off? Consequently, hit it off to where exactly? Anyway, I asked Tony if he believed in soul mates and he said no, but he did not elaborate.
I remember my aunt telling me that she and my uncle did not believe in soul mates. Instead, they believed that there are “types” of people that are compatible, and when you find a person who is the given type, there is chemistry and you fall in love. Monica and Chandler believed that love is a choice, and while she and the soul-mate-guy had a lot in common, she chose to love Chandler.
I don’t know that I believe in the types theory only because Tony is very different from the man I loved before, and I am very different from the women he has loved before. However, there are similarities between them, and I suppose these similarities can be contributions to a certain type of individual. I also think that whole “choice” idea is important because love isn’t always rainbows and unicorn breath and sometimes you have to remind yourself over and over that YOU LOVE THIS PERSON! Really. You do. But the romantic in me is sad that Tony doesn’t believe in soul mates. Because the romantic in me believes that God made a specific man for me and no other man will suffice. And even though this isn’t realistic or sensible, it’s what I choose to believe.
And maybe that’s the whole point. The choosing…Free Will…soul mates exist because I choose to believe that they do. God exists because I choose to believe that He does. Could I have chosen to marry someone else? Maybe. Could I choose to believe that there is not a God? Of course. But then how would I explain love? What would I have to compare it to so that I knew what love was? If Tony isn’t my soul mate than who can explain to me that feeling I get every day that confirms that he is? I just know. Do I just know because I choose to know? If that were the case, couldn’t I have chosen to know six years ago?
This is all very dumb and confusing, but welcome to my thought patterns! It’s a jungle in here.
What do you think? Do you believe in soul mates?