I have always felt lucky to have grown up with two parents who love each other, who have remained married for so long, and who still kiss in the kitchen ALL THE TIME. My parents have given me a template from which I can build my future life on, and I am eternally grateful. When I first started talking to Tony, it was evident that he had issues with love and commitment and marriage and kids…he was terrified. But underneath all of the mess, there was a glimpse of something I could feel, something that reassured me that if I was patient enough, I could be the person who he might show this glimpse to.
Tony’s grandparents are the reason I have hope that he can overcome his negative views on marriage and family. I have never met them, but he often tells me stories of how much they loved each other. He holds them up as his template for marriage.
Sidenote: When Tony’s grandfather was sick with colon cancer, he didn’t want the nurse to take care of him. He only wanted his wife. And she took care of him the entire way.
(Tony’s grandmother wrote this note for Tony’s Dad.)
(The carved orange rind)
We have talked about marriage a lot, and a family event for either one of us doesn’t go by without someone saying, “so when are you two going to get married?” But we were both shocked and honored when Tony’ s dad informed us that he had his parents’ wedding rings and was willing to give them to us.
We hadn’t discussed when we would pick up the rings, or when we would start thinking about getting them cleaned and restored (Tony’s grandpa had HUGE fingers, and I think we may want them coated in white gold). I wanted to leave this up to him. I wanted to know that he was as excited as I am about this. But yesterday on our way home from dinner, he told me that he stopped at his dad’s house…and then I knew. He had picked up the rings.
I was nervous to see them because I know that his grandma was a tiny woman and if she were alive today I would probably be twice her size. I wanted so badly for her ring to fit my hand perfectly, even though we have plans to change it a bit, I still wanted it to fit. I feel like his grandparents have had a hand in our relationship, and the honor of wearing these rings for the rest of our lives makes me even more convinced that it is meant to be. Call me superstitious or a silly girl or whatever you want. But when Tony went to slide her ring onto my finger:
it fit perfectly.
(I am holding Tony’s grandfather’s ring.)
I don’t know when we will get engaged, but I do know that everything will fall into place as it should.