Watching television is not my favorite past time. Peeling the dried paint off my bedroom walls is my favorite past time. Yet in the past couple weeks, I have been a devoted watcher of The Biggest Loser on Tuesday nights.

I. Can’t. Get. Enough.

Maybe it has something to do with my obsession with food and working out lately, or the fact that the scale won’t budge for me and the old man on TBL lost 31 freaking pounds in ONE WEEK. But I think what it really has to do with is me being fascinated by Jillian, the trainer, and how she is my hero because when SHE tells it like it is, people listen. When I tell it like it is, people say I don’t have a filter and I should try to take others’ feelings into consideration. So Jillian? Keep up the good fight, my friend.

Also? I love it when the whiny chicks lose like two pounds and then whine some more because “they just don’t understand how this happened! I worked my ass off this week!” Really? Because I just remember seeing you crying like a three year old and telling everybody how much it hurts and you want to go home. Suck it up, Sappy.

Do these people think that there aren’t a GAZILLION other obese people in this country who wouldn’t want to be where they are right now? Seriously, after the weight is lost, the biggest loser is going to be a reality tv star walking down the streets of LA with the paparazzi following behind. WHO WOULDN’T WANT THAT? Okay, I wouldn’t want that (I TOTALLY would want that) but, I mean, this is what America is these days, don’t you whiny bitches know that?

More importantly, don’t you know the entire country is watching you wimp out in front of MILLIONS OF PEOPLE and consequently SCREAMING at the television for you to SHUT UP, DUMBASS! KEEP RUNNING!? Oh, maybe that’s just me saying those things. Well, I don’t even feel bad for saying it because if I can look at myself in the mirror and call myself Fatty, I can surely look at you on National Television in a state-of-the-art gym, crying on the floor, not even TRYING and call you a dumbass. Dumbass.

Why don’t they want to TRY? Do they want to die of heart disease?? Do you WANT TO DIE, CRY BABY?! Huh?!?!

Ahem. So…The Biggest Loser. My new favorite show.