It’s never a good sign when your mouth won’t close all the way. I suppose I could focus on the positives…I’m ready to eat at any given moment, I can begin a sentence without having to separate my lips first, etc. But the negatives are far more discouraging:

1. I’m ready to eat at any given moment, and it is excrutiating torture to chew.

2. My jaw is sore and my jaw is sore.

3. I’m talking funny. My S’s are more slushy than usual.

4. I can’t say “slushy” correctly.

The reason for all the open-mouthed-ness? My wisdom teeth are causing some sort of infection in my mouth. I can feel the tissue around them swelling, and in the process, my teeth are cutting said tissue. If this is not enough to make me want to cut off my face with a wire cheese slicer, I slept with my mouth guard the past two nights, causing several small cuts to the inside of my mouth.

So basically I want to die.

I went to bed early last night thinking things would be better when I woke up. But really, things are just the same. And I am going to be forced to go to an oral surgeon, and he is going to rip my wisdom teeth out with a spoon and I am going to cry. I am scared, People! Don’t you remember A YEAR ago when I told you about this?