You are all nosy. That’s why I love you. So to satisfy that hunger you have for knowing what’s going on, I will tell you a little secret…

I’m getting a nose job.

Oh yes, it’s true. Technically (afterall, I think this warrants getting technical, don’t you? For justification reasons? Afterall, my father is a priest and GOD GAVE ME THIS NOSE! Right? Hmmmm?)

I am undergoing a “Septoplasty”. Yes, I am that cliche who will soon walk around proclaiming, “I had a deviated septum”….but it will be the truth. Believe me or don’t, I couldn’t care less because I’M GETTING A NOSE JOB!

So I went this afternoon to the plastic surgery department so that they could photograph my schnozz; it went swimmingly. In a couple weeks when I get to see the hot doctor, he will show me “before” and “after” shots on the computer and I will conveniently faint from excitement (into his arms, of course, in an exquisite Scarlett O’Hara-esque fashion).

Oh, you guys are in for a treat, I tell you. The journey begins in December.