“My weight has stayed the same even though I’ve started eating real people food again.”

“I haven’t lost anything in two months. But I eat real people food all the time.”

“You look fine the way you are. But just wait until you have babies.”

“I don’t think I will have babies.”


“I think I’m infertile.”

“No, you look fertile.”


This conversation has been paraphrased because my memory sucks at detail…

“I’m so excited because I’m going to see Harry Potter on Sunday.”

“I never read the books. Do you think she will kill Harry?”

“I hope not.”

“I hope so. I think kids need a good dose of reality in fiction.”

“Umm…there is a reason it’s called fiction.”

“I think reality is important for the public to witness on television and in movies. Like Ross & Rachael and Kevin & Winnie. There are a few quintessential couples I’ve based my experiences of love on. Ross & Rachael-

“-By the way, I LOVE Ross & Rachael!”

“See? That was a realistic relationship.”

“But they ended up together in the last episode.”

“Yeah, but after the show was over how do we know that they really ended up together? I mean, Rachael could have jeopardized her whole career for a matter of three months for all we know and then they probably broke up. And Kevin & Winnie? Winnie should be dragged behind a building and shot as far as I’m concerned. Then there was Corey & Topanga…”

“oooh! I love Corey & Topanga! And I loved how their relationship was so not based on the physical”

“I agree…Corey had his manly urges, but they stuck it out and waited for their wedding night.”

“Yeah, they were great role models. My stomach hurts.”

“Then eat something healthy, Tubby.”

“We are not friends anymore.”

“Anymore? We stopped being friends after the incident where you refused to validate my parking.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot.”