Since Fern’s death, I have been trying to find a suitable replacement for him. Not that he could ever be replaced per se, but I need the oxygen. It’s like aromatherapy for the lungs.

Anyway, I bought a sad looking spider plant who currently has no name, although my mom affectionately refers to him as Spidey. And would you believe that I am having a hard time keeping him alive? What is the deal? What am I doing wrong? I’m totally blaming it all on the shitty weather in Cleveland because Deck the fucking Halls it’s winter in April. I ventured onto the web to find some tips on “Plant Care” and I found out that tap water may be too harsh for Spidey. If I put some drops in the water like I used for Kibbles and Bits, the water would be more suitable for Spidey and he would flourish.

Okay, I appreciate the suggestion, Web Site People, but I flushed Bits down the toilet ALIVE, and you think I’m going to nurse a temperamental plant with special water?! Pshh…You must not follow this blog.

I miss you, Fern.

PS. I spent the evening last night taking pictures of myself with Tony’s digital camera. This is what girfriends do when their digital cameras are broken and their boyfriends are not home. This, and perform dance routines to Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation” in front of the patio windows.