I remember sitting in the family room near the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve with my uncle while my brother, Josh, slept on the couch. It was 1980 something, and Uncle Jeff and I were watching television when Josh started yelling at me out of nowhere, “Kol! Give me back my olives!” Without even glancing at him, I yelled back, “I don’t even have your olives! What are you talking about?!” Uncle Jeff started laughing and said, “Nikol, I think he’s talking in his sleep…look.” When I looked over at him, he was sure enough passed out.

Evidently, this runs in the family.

I have been told in the past that I occasionally talk in my sleep. This makes me nervous for a number of reasons, but mostly because even though I spew 75% of my life out into cyberspace, there is still that small percentage of me that I’d like to keep private. Not having control over what’s coming out of my mouth while I’m sleeping is anything but reassuring (cue flashbacks of waking up startled in study hall while everyone is looking at me like they’ve seen me in my underwear). In order to remedy this, I believe that I have subconsciously repressed the talking. Because now, Now! I am told that I sing…or moan…or both…in my sleep.

For all you Grey’s Anatomy fans out there, this whole scenario just gives me a little chuckle because Meredith and McDreamy were having “sleep issues” recently. He was having a hard time sleeping due to her incessant snoring. Tony woke me up last night to tell me that I was singing again (this has happened the past two nights), and while he didn’t say it, I took that to be his polite way of saying, “and I wish you would shut the hell up so I can erase the visions of suffocating you with this pillow and sleep instead”.

But in my opinion…because I know how important it is to you (don’t deny it, you know you wake up every morning dying to know what I think about the world and all its splendor), I think singing in my sleep says something about my current state of mind. I mean, I’m not crying in my sleep…