I had to deliver some information to a man on the other side of the hospital today. After talking to him on the phone, I tried to picture what he might look like. I imagined a young, overweight man with glasses…somewhat nerdy.

But this is not why I am going to hell…

When I got to the Archives Department (ok, that should have been my first clue…anyone who looks through archives of medical information all day has GOT to be a little out of step with reality) and he opened the door, I laughed.

I LAUGHED! And then I tried to cover up my bad manners with a fake coughing fit.

I composed myself long enough to say, “Are you Fred?”
“Yes…are you Nikol?”
“Yes. Nice to meet you Fred.”
“Nice to…umm…meet…too you,” he said.

Fred was a middle aged, skinny man that came up to my shoulder. The top of his head was bald and he wore glasses so thick I could use the lenses for nice, sturdy coasters. He wore a starched white button-down shirt with khaki pants belted just beneath his armpits, and a red and yellow polka-dotted BOW TIE!

You think I’m making this up, don’t you…well I’m not. I’m really not. Poor Fred. I want to give him a makeover.