Last night I attempted to cram everything that I had not done in the past week into one night. I was almost successful. The one thing I did succeed in accomplishing was the grocery shopping and the purging of the junk food in my kitchen. I feel clean. No more doritos and sour cream and cheddar chips, no more coke (gasp!) and no more candy.

My refrigerator is now stocked with veggies, fruit, lean cuisines, bottled water and a 12-pack of disgusting carbonated flavored water that really just tastes like soda water but SMELLS like berries. I hate it. Do you want it?

I have become obsessed, and it’s about damn time. My goal is at LEAST 20 pounds by Tanko and Cedo’s wedding…but I’m shooting for more. But let me make this clear: This is NOT a New Year’s Resolution. I don’t believe in them. This is me wanting to wear a bathing suit after swimming in my clothes for the past two summers. This is about you being sick of reading about how fat I am. And this is about me not wanting to die of a heart attack before I’m thirty.

So…

last night was also the first night I have not seen Tony after spending six straight days with him. GUH! The SHOCK TO MY SYSTEM HAS DONE IRREPARABLE DAMAGE! Seriously. My brain is numb and my speech is slurred. Oh, that’s nothing new? Huh. Looking on the bright side, the next time he sees me, he will totally be able to tell the difference in my health. I mean, it’s so obvious how healthy I am now. For instance, Chunk only hangs over my pants when I sit down now.

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