Happy 2007. Odd numbered year, should be a good one. We’ll see I guess.

This morning I woke up and immediately wanted to cry. I wanted to fling myself through the wall and break a bone so I would have a reason to not go to work. But then I remembered that driving to the hospital is not the same as sleeping in the cozy bed, so I dragged myself to the shower where I think I fell asleep standing beneath the warm water. I woke up when the warmth ran out and the cold streams screamed down on me like straight pins.

Falling back into a routine I hate is almost unbearable.


This morning on the shuttle a guy entered and sat down in the seat next to me. He incessantly stared at me the entire 25 minutes it took to get to the clinic from the parking lot, and I wondered if he was just weird or if he thought he knew me. I was in no mood for fun and games, so when I turned to him, and he smiled at me, I couldn’t help but smile back. And by smile, I mean I looked at him blankly for about 6 seconds, real time, and dared him to read my thoughts…they went something like this:

“Stop looking at me, Happy Man! I don’t know you, I don’t care to know you, and I am not going to strike up a conversation so quit making eye contact with me, I hate it. So much. In fact, just pretend I’m not even here. Poof!”

Then I turned my body towards the window so that my back and my ass were facing him and I closed my eyes and went to sleep. I’m so subtle I can’t even stand it.