I knew it was going to be a bad day before it even began. I went to bed with more thoughts bouncing around than normal, and sleep was a welcomed tranquilizer that didn’t thoroughly numb the part of me that wants to stop feeling.
I woke up this morning with a headache, a persistent nagging that repetitively thumped in my ear, “walk away, walk away, walk away”. And then the stubborn mechanics that fall somewhere in the vicinity of the heart (great song) whisper like a freight train, “STAY”. So I did what anyone would do when it gets too noisy. I jumped in my truck and turned the music up. Which leads me to the culmination of my bad day…
It took THREE HOURS to get to the parking lot this morning, and then an additional 30 minutes to be shuttled to my office. And so now I want to unclench my jaw that has been working harder than a hungry hooker and gnaw on a pencil until it’s sharp enough to puncture something…like my frontal lobe, perhaps. And then maybe when I get home tonight, like at half past bed time, I will resume my conversation with my thoughts and my unruly emotions. And it will go something like this:
Me: [dialing a number I’ve grown accustomed to dialing these days, and then addressing the person who answers] Want to drown in a bottle of wine with me?