Sidenote that has nothing to do with this post: Remember the first paragraph of this post? Yeah.

Anyway, I work with a person whose farts smell like french fries.

I wish I was joking. I wish I was just telling you this because I have nothing else to say. But that’s just not the case and I have spent the last 30 seconds gagging at my desk.

Sometimes the gas creeps out silently, and other times it’s audible, making it’s presence known. This person acts like it’s no big deal and simply says, “excuse me” and walks away. You can’t just walk away! Well, yes, please walk away, but do it before you choke me with the putrid air! I realize that this is a bodily function that everyone does it (I heard somewhere that a healthy person does this at least 15 times a day), but the fact that it is so casual, and then I am left to smell it is just too much. I need an open window so bad right now!

I know what you’re thinking (shut up, yes I do.), “Nik, you love french fries, why are you complaining?”

Yeah, I love french fries and I love the smell of french fries, but I hate the smell of french fries that are really just farts. The fart smell is mixed in, so it’s not pure french fry scent.

It makes me never want to eat McDonald’s again.