My alarm went off at 5am, and I envisioned myself putting a red ticket into a slot, very much like my bus pass into the machine, to shut it off. Then I heard myself say out loud, “I just need a twelve dollar bill”.

This isn’t the first time I have heard myself talk while in between sleep and awake. But it made me really want there to be such a thing as a twelve dollar bill. More than ten, but less than twenty, yet not exactly half either. I like it.

Get to work, government!

My favorite bus driver remembers me. I haven’t been on his bus in about a week because my timing sucks, and this morning I looked up and there he was. He said, “welcome back!” I can’t decide if I like that I’m noticed or if I would rather blend right in with the crowd. But I smiled in spite of my I-Will-Cut-You-if-You-Say-Nice-Things-to-Me-in-the-Morning rule.

By the way, I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my entire life. I stepped on the scale this morning and immediately started contracting a deal with Lucy (as in Lucy-fer). When I walked into the office, the administrator had volunteered me to be our department’s representative for the clinic’s “wellness committee”. Does anyone know me at all? I have visions of group chants with smiling people whose BMI does not teeter between normal and overweight. Instead of chairs, we will conduct all meetings perched atop stationary bicycles.

I can’t wait.