I don’t understand why people think they own the hallways.

As I trudge along from point A to B to C, I tend to watch where I’m going. If it looks like I might potentially collide with an oncoming person, I will instinctively move out of the way. Today I would like to discuss those people who think they are beyond moving. They walk down the hall chatting on their cell phone or with their coworker, or listening to their ipod, or they’re just walking and they DON’T DEVIATE FROM THE ROUTE. It’s as if there is a microchip implanted in their brain that threatens to self destruct if they waiver in their ambulation. Well let me tell you something about this. I hate it. It is one of my biggest pet peeves.

If I have to stop walking to move to the right or left of you because you don’t have the common courtesy to OPEN YOUR EYES and notice that you are about to walk directly into me, from now on I am going to trip you. I am going to trip you regardless of your age, sex, race or creed. You are only exempt if you have a physical or mental handicap, and even then, it better be a good one (I am not opposed to sweeping your crutches from under you and beating you with them – try me).

All I’m saying is, why can’t we both move? Why do you think you are peripatetically superior to me? We’re both just walking, you know. When you learn how to fly and I’m still walking…then we’ll talk.