I get the keys to my new apartment today. All I have to say about that is WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So last night, Natankoslav threw me over his shoulder and pretended he was going to throw me in the pond. I was nervous for a minute, and then I remembered that he is nice to me, and he probably wouldn’t do it. But then when he put me down, he told his brother Jeremiah, “throw Nik in the pond.”

And he did.

Jeremiah is a 6’7″ tower, so I tried to wrap my legs and arms around his body so that he would come in with me…you know, the whole, “if I go, you go” threat. But I was thrashing around like a wild beast for so long, I wore myself out. By the time he walked to the end of the dock, I was plum tuckered out. I was just flailing my arms around, hoping my hands would meet his face in a nice, hearty smack. But alas, they met the water in a wet, splashy smack instead.

I would have been really mad at both Jeremiah AND Natankoslav if I didn’t love them so much. But I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s their jobs to piss me off and throw me around. They’re more like my brothers than cousins, and I’d rather be thrown in the pond than tickled mercilessly (is that even spelled correctly? who cares). Besides, God will bless them with hyper-active children, and I will buy them loud, obnoxious toys and sugar-laden pixie sticks and pop rocks.

Oh, and…

I get the keys to my apartment today. In case you didn’t hear me the first time.

I get the keys to my apartment today, I said.