I was wondering if it was a sin to rip my uterus out through my belly button with salad tongs…because I’m totally going to do it right after I invest in Tampax stocks.

So I have been neglecting TVFH this week, and all I can tell you is I have been obsessively producing my resume in mass quantities and have done everything short of stapling them on telephone poles in Public Square. That’s next. After I staple one to my forehead.

But I’ve learned some things:

1. I’m not scared anymore. I love my family and appreciate everything they have done for me the past five years. But I realize now that I am going to be okay. If I don’t try, I will regret it for the rest of my life. I have been blessed with the greatest support system EVER!
2. The world is at my feet. Seriously. I can go anywhere, and I WILL go anywhere. There are no limits.
3. I can’t wait to see what happens.

Of course, it might take some time to recover from my self-operation via salad utensils, but at the rate things are going, I have plenty of time SINCE NO ONE WANTS TO HIRE ME!

On a brighter note, I did land a part-time job, and I start tomorrow. So until I am united with my dream job, I will be able to purchase the essentials…toilet paper and chocolate.

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