So last night I went to get new tags for my car. I was one day past the expiration date, and I knew no amount of sweet talking or crying would get me out of a ticket if I happened to get pulled over. I had to get an e-check because here in Ohio the BMV likes to make things as inconvenient and stupid as possible. So off I went to have some random tests done to the Jetta that would evaluate the amount of toxic fumes I exude into the air we breathe. I was ready for them to hand me my bill of clean health so I would be on my way to paying $50 for a little sticker that would validate my existence on the freeway. The guy called my name, I reached my hand out for the paper, he asked me if I owned the Jetta, I said yes…my hand still out…and…

it failed the test.

Failed.

Yes, but what does that mean ? It means that I would have to fix my car. Now I don’t know how much I’ve told you guys, but my car is in trouble. It needs new tires, brakes, shocks, converter, probably a new engine….and I have zero dollars. ZERO. So I was just trying to inch my way along until I could get settled in my new place and save enough money to get one thing fixed at a time. But then the little e-check man blew my plan. I hate him, by the way, because he didn’t even look like like he felt sorry for me when he told me my car FAILED. I mean, he didn’t even care a little bit. Well, I couldn’t drive around with expired plates because I couldn’t afford to pay the ticket when the cops pulled me over. I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t know where to go! I just wanted to cry because that’s what a person DOES when they don’t have anything else to do.

So of course I went to Mom and Dad because they know how to fix my life for me when I have no idea what is happening. And, well, Dad and I ended up going to the Dodge dealership…where we spent the next 4 and a half HOURS trying to get me out of the death trap and into a new car.

Today, I am driving this:

This is my new truck. I’m still in shock that my car payment has skyrocketed, but I’m excited that I can throw people in the back and drive them through the mud for fun.

While my dad and I were sitting at the dealership, I called my mom to bring us some garbage bags because we had to clean my car out. We put everything in the middle of the parking lot and waited for the guy to bring the truck around. It was pathetic. I looked like I was moving into the Dodge dealership. There was a bowling ball, a pair of purple heels, a pair of white sneaks, a pair of black cowboy boots, Twister, Taboo, a sign language dictionary, a few french fries, a high school year book, an old cell phone, tons of garbage, some cd’s and some random short stories. My mom had yet to see the truck, and as we stood there waiting underneath the “Dodge” sign, and after I had asked her to bring me garbage bags to the “Dodge dealership on Pearl road” she said to me, “So, what did you get, Nik? A Ford?”

I love you, Mom.

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