So I went to KY this weekend, and then yesterday I made the decision to end my relationship. I feel like I am meant to be alone right now, and that little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that Kentucky is not the man for me. At first, I ignored it….I WANTED him to be the man for me, dammit! I mean, c’mon…how awesome would it be to never have to date another man or recite my life story on another awkward first date. And the fact that Kentucky is a good man and would make an amazing husband and father was something I have been looking for in a man! And then his family is just so wonderful, and they liked me and everything looked so great on paper. But the voice persisted, and it wouldn’t shut the hell up…and I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Sometimes everything can look so perfect, but you just know in your heart that it’s not for you.
So all I can do now is pray that in time Kentucky can forgive me and understand that I did this because I want him to be with someone who loves him like he loves them. I want him to find his missing piece…one that fits perfectly. He lives in a triangle house, and I’m a big fat circle.
And, well, now I’m back to being alone. And I’m ok with that.