I’ve identified my problem. I think. I’m not losing weight fast enough, I want to see Kentucky more than just every weekend, and I’m not happy with myself for wanting to see him so much. I want to be independent…like I was. I want to not need anyone…like I did. And yet, I still want to see him every day. And I want to be skinny every day. And I’m not. My life is full of contradictions.

And so…I don’t know what my point is. I want to go shopping for an outfit that will make me feel skinny. I’m going to KY tomorrow and I want to wear this outfit. And then I want to go to some bar in KY that I’ve never been to and feel pretty in this outfit. And then get drunk in this outfit. Ok, this is a random thought, but all the girls (at least the ones that I’ve met down there) are short. I feel like a freaking mammoth compared to these chicks. I thought 5’7″ was AVERAGE?! I feel so freakish…like everyone should line up to watch me retrieve the bowl from the top shelf without a step ladder….and then move out of the way quickly as I bring it down in case Chunk decides to smack them in the face. Someone should charge admission and get rich off my averageness.

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