Thursday evening I ordered myself to stay at home. There were several things that needed to be done, and I refused to allow myself to get sidetracked by the mall, renting a movie, going to a movie, or anything else that involved leaving my apartment. So when I f*&ked up the cupcakes I was making for Chelsea-Belle’s birthday and had to leave in order to go to the grocery store to buy another box of Duncan Hines yellow cake mix (that I later ate with a spoon)…it was a valid excuse to break my rule.

I walked outside to my car, got in, started it, looked in my rear-view mirror as I began backing out of the driveway, and found myself looking at NB’s Wife’s daughter’s STUPID ASS CAR! I thought these days were over seeing how the bitch moved out….but evidently not. I shut the car off, went back in and began banging on NB’s door. I knocked for like 4 DAYS! But their radio was on or something and they were talking and laughing (probably about how many buscuits with gravy they can shove in their mouths at once since there is so much room without their bicuspids) so loud that they couldn’t hear me. OR they were ignoring me, in which case I will secretly let Homer escape through the fence to his freedom the next time they put him out to poop.

In any case…I was stuck at home.

So, I went back upstairs and continued cleaning, while I fumed about what assholes they are, and then my phone rang. Kentucky.

“What are you doing?”
“Cleaning. I’m pissed cause NB’s got a car blocking me in my driveway.”
“oh, a green Civic?”
“Something like that. (I’m clueless) I tried knocking on their door, but their music is too freaking loud.”
“I think it’s their TV.” (again, clueless.)
“Well, whatever, but now I think I have to work a half day tomorrow so that I can get these cupcakes done!”
“Why don’t you just take the whole day off?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because I’m standing on your back porch.”

Yeah. Kentucky is a romantic bastard. He didn’t even have my address, but he found a way to get to my house from some computer thing that he explained to me, but my attention span refused to compute every word and I only got like every other word. But I got the bottom line: He’s not afraid to work at it if he has to in order to get me to notice him.

I noticed.

So, in a round about way, Neighbor Bob brought us together Thursday night. Shit, for all I know, Kentucky called him and told him to ignore me as I flung myself into his kitchen door repeatedly.

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