You have your spiders and your centipedes…the gross bugs. Then you have (well, at least I do) the bees in the bathroom…the scary bugs. Then you have your Ladybugs….

I first noticed the appearance of the little bitches a couple weeks ago. There were two of them…perched on my ceiling, staring down at me while I was lying in bed. I thought to myself, “ladybugs are supposed to be good luck…can’t wait to see what happens.” Then…my life got caught up in a tornado, and two nights ago one of the ladybugs flew down and landed on my arm while I was in bed….and BIT ME!! I didn’t know ladybugs could do that! I flicked her devil-ass across the room, and heard her hit the wall.

It made me think about the movie, “A Bug’s Life”. The Ladybug in that movie was a MALE. Figures. So last night, I was in movie mode, and I took a break to go pee. Guess who was hanging on my shower curtain? Ladybug. I just stared him down to let him know who was in charge, and he was obviously nervous, probably peed his little shell, because he didn’t move a millimeter.

I finished watching my movies and went to bed. Early this morning, I felt something crawling on my leg under the covers. I started FREAKING OUT because of that incident that I told you guys about with the bug in my sleeping bag. When I looked under the blankets…there was the ladybug. I’m convinced it was the one I flicked, coming back for revenge.

While I was in the shower this morning, I sent a message to all the ladybugs in my house. I shook the one on the shower curtain (it was still there) into the tub…and drowned it. Don’t f*&ck with me, Little Ladies.

I will not be overthrown.