FRIDAY

Went to listen to my cousin play the guitar and rock out some James Taylor tunes at a local bar. Got hit on by a 60 year old big guy and his “son”, the Italian Stallion. And by his son, I mean, he didn’t even know the guy; by stallion, I mean he looked like a grasshopper.
“Hey there, Sweetie, what’s your name? This is my dad, ____. “
“Hey, _____. I’m Nikol. Nice to meet you. (Turning to Jiminy Cricket) Well, what’s your name?”
“_____, I’m Italian. I’m the Italian Stallion.”
“Ok, Rocky, well I gotta take these drinks here over to my boyfriend, so you guys have a good night.” Then I leaned over to the big guy and said, “he’s really not your son, is he?”
He laughed, “No way, Sweetheart. No way.”

SATURDAY

28 women, 4 generations, got together to have a bonfire and just hang out. There was fingernail painting, card playing, singing songs and dancing around the fire (the fire was taller than me) like Native Americans, people breaking chairs and falling on their heads and a game of a Mother/Daughter version of “The Newlywed Game”. Somehow, my mom and I got chosen to play this game. I am still devastated by the eye-opening experience:

Question: Nikol, who did you go to when you were little if you wanted something, your mom or your dad?

Nikol: My dad. (WWWWWRRRRROOOONNNNGGG ANSWER. What?! Mom, I always went to him for money!)

Question: Nikol, what would your mom say is your favorite color?

Nikol: She would say Brown. (WWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRROOOOONNNNNNNG.)

Oh my God, my mom doesn’t know me. However when they asked me questions about her….I knew her VERY well. Hey, Mom! Are you REALLY my mom??? Or are you an imposter? I mean, haven’t you been my mom for the past 27 years??? You should know me by now! If you don’t know me by now…you will never never never know me…ooooooh oooh oooh oooh oooh.

Sorry. Had to sing it.

Just kidding, Mom. I know you know me probably better than most. But in the future, I WANT TO WIN THE GAME SO WE CAN GET THE PRIZE!!!!

SUNDAY

Went to church and saw my friend, Amy, who is PREGNANT!!!! YAY!

Then…went on a hayride and had a BLAST getting hay in every inch of my clothing…even my underwear (found it when I went to the bathroom). Gotta love Fall…I mean Autumnnnn.

Then I went shopping with my cousin, Nathan, and his girlfriend, Chelsea. And we found a GLOW IN THE DARK PUTT PUTT PLACE!!!! It was so cool….so we putted. I didn’t win (again) and I think I’m starting to get a loser complex.

THen, had to cut the fun short because Cowboy called and his sister was in a car accident. So I drove to 3 different hospitals looking for her, and she wasn’t at any of them. Turns out she and her baby are fine and they had been discharged. Got home at 8:45pm and fell right to sleep.

SUNDAY NIGHT

Had a dream. I had a dream that I was in a village where you had to eat animals alive….and raw (obviously). My dad wouldn’t let me leave until I ate something. I told him I could not eat a monkey, so he pulled a frog out of a fish tank and told me to eat it. Actually he said, “bite it’s head off, that’s the best part.”

Sooo…I bit it’s head off, and started gagging. Then, in my dream, I could see the inside of my mouth and I saw huge, red, fleshy animal parts. I know…frogs aren’t very fleshy, but that’s what dreams do…distort reality. So I had like tiger chunks in my mouth, and I could feel the fur on my tongue, and I couldn’t chew because I didn’t want to feel the juices squirt in my mouth because I knew I would throw up. I ran to a picnic table and started spitting it all out, but it wouldn’t come out. So I just kept spitting and spitting, and do you people know I woke myself up because I was spitting on my blankets in real life??? I woke up to my sheets soak and wet with my own spit. Ridiculous.

MONDAY MORNING

Sitting at my desk hoping you all had a marvelously fabulous endweek.

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