So the pilot light in my stove keeps going off and I have to relight it every hour, and I’m probably going to die from inhaling toxic gas fumes. I wonder sometimes how many people would show up at my funeral…I wonder if it’s like that book “Lovely Bones” where you can look down and see everything that’s happening. I wonder if it’s the same way if you’re looking up (which may be my case when I’m dead).

Yesterday was 65 degrees. I was freezing my ass off in a t-shirt and jeans, so today I wore a sweater. It’s going to be 77. Tomorrow…65. I hate you, Cleveland.

I’m going to have a meatball sub for lunch. And I’m going to like it.

I found out that 2 of my fiction pieces that I submitted to a state-wide writing contest won 3rd and 4th place. My name is going to be published in a literary magazine for the state of Ohio. My stories are not going to be published. I wonder if more people would come to my funeral if the stories were published. Do more people show up at celebrities’ funerals because they’re famous? I wonder who the person with the largest attendance at their funeral was?

Don’t ask me why I’m wondering these things. I don’t know why.

I had a dream last night that a snake crawled into bed with me. I woke up this morning with red marks on my thigh like a snake bite. It reminded me of the time I had a dream that I was being chased by 3 men. They caught up with me and sliced a circle around my left eye with a knife and then sliced the number four on my right cheek. I woke up with my face burning around my left eye and on my right cheek. Maybe someone’s trying to tell me something about snakes. Although I don’t think anyone was trying to tell me anything about circles and fours that other time.