Today is the first day of Fall….excuse me….Autumn. Whatever. It’ s the first day of it. I am so unbelievably excited because this season (Fall) is my favorite. Granted, it is 80 freaking degrees outside right now, but next week it will be in the upper 60’s, so things will be gettin’ good and crispy out there!

The first day of Fall reminds me of my ex-husband. Which reminds me of “firsts” in general since I had alot of mine with him. First time I got drunk, (don’t read this next part, Dad) first time I had sex, first time I got married, first time I drove into a car on purpose and almost got arrested, first time I got divorced. You know…a lot of Firsts. But Fall reminds me of him because we started dating at the beginning of the school year when the leaves were changing colors, and it was cold enough to wear a sweater but too hot to wear a coat. The smells were richer…leaves, cool wind, sharpened pencils, apple cider. Even with his stupid face in my memory…Fall still is the best season. It reminds me that things get old and fall off and then you get to start over. Basically.

First Days are a constant in my life. I went to like 16 schools or something whacked out like that, and the First Day was always interesting. The FIRST First Day was scary. By like the fifth First Day, I was like, “Hi I’m Nikol…want to be friends?” Then, when I got to high school and again it was the First Day…I had the whole system down…”Hi, it’s my first day…new school…do you have a girlfriend? You’re cute.” Oh yes…the First Days of flirting. It was all downhill from there, people.

So anyway…it’s the First Day of AUTUMN…that’s such an obnoxious word. Autumn. Why can’t we spell it “ottum” or “awtum”…what’s up with the “mn”? “Hi, I’m Mnikol and I love Autumn.”

Fall. First day of Fall. As in Falling leaves…Fall over in delight at the beauty of life…(what am I even saying?)

You know what I hated? My English teacher in 9th grade had a banner over the blackboard that read,”Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” I hated that banner. SO WHAT? Today is the first day of alot of things. And what’s so special about the rest of my life? What about the beginning of my life…or even the middle…I mean, those are the course of events that are going to determine the rest of my life anyway, right? Hmmm.

The first day of Autumnnnnnnnn in 2005 falls on the 22nd of September. The 22nd. A double even number. I hate that number. But maybe since September is the 9th month and it’s the year 05, I’ll be safe. Let’s hope…because today is the first day of the rest of my life, and it’s FALLing right over the line on the calendar quickly.

I hope I’m not running out of First Days.