I need a break from these crazy drunken weekends. I crave a vacation from vacations. I want to be sober, fully clothed and free from throbbing feet due to excessive dancing. I want to wear my cozy sweatshirt and sneaks instead of dental floss straps and tight jeans that ride up my butt crack. I don’t want to condition, blow dry, straighten and polish my hair…I don’t want to put on makeup while intoxicated so that I look like Cleopatra. I don’t want to pose for pictures or spend $50 on Taco Bell. I don’t want to share a bed with 3 other people, and I don’t want to smell the alcohol seeping from my pores, let alone theirs. I don’t want to get locked out of Pete’s house and sleep on a lounge chair by the pool at 6am. I don’t want to see my friends’ boobs…I don’t even want to see my boobs. I don’t want another shot. I don’t want another shot. I SAID I don’t want another shot! And…I don’t want to make out, so stop asking me. My answer will still be no. Regardless of all of this, I had a great time. I’m sure I will be ready to party when I see you all again next month. Until then…I’m taking a nap.

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