So two nights ago, my Neighbor Crush was having a bonfire on the sidewalk in front of his building. I don’t even think this is legal (ooooh, a rebel!). I closed my blinds so that he and his drinking buddies couldn’t see right into my bedroom where I was dancing around in my underwear, pretending I was in my own music video. 5 minutes later, I heard a cat SHREIKING! It was the most awful sound I’ve heard in awhile…like, “REEEEEEAAAAARRRRRRRWWWWWWWAAAAA!” Yeah, like that. I hope they didn’t roast the poor animal, because I surely would have to end my relationship with NC. And by relationship, I mean waving hello to him when I see him.

So Landlord Jeff moved his hillbilly truck loaded with 2 by 4’s out of my driveway, and now there are 2 parking spots! Ironically, NB’s wife’s daughter doesn’t live there anymore. But NB’s wife had a friend over the other night, and they were parked in the driveway, so I just pulled in along side them and SCRAPED THE SIDE OF MY CAR ON THE BRICK STAIRS! Yeah, it doesn’t bother me, though. I’m ok with it. I mean, I’ve just decided to make a list of all the things that I need to shell out money for and then offer myself to be sacrificed in NC’s bonfire.

To top it all off…Fern is dead.