I would hate for you all to be completely bored, sitting trance-like in front of your personal computers. Therefore, I have come to save you from the jaws of Corporate America. All you must do to find happiness is click your mousy-mouse here.

That’s right, Folks. Britney Spears has Chunk. I realize this is not Breaking News, but it puts a smile on my face, and I firmly believe in Paying it Forward. (Thank you, Miss, for emailing this information to me this morning.)

On another note, my date with Hot Cop went well…no beatings or handcuffing occurred. However, I’m just not that into him. I did manage to kiss him several times at the end of the night, though. C’mon, People. He’s hot. I had no choice but to test his smooching skills. In the end, I would rather sit on my floor watching my new fern grow.

Speaking of Fern, I love him. He brings me oxygen everyday in the midst of Cleveland’s pollution and Neighbor Bob’s cigarrette smoke and nasty fish dinners. Fern is the best pet ever! He is cost effective and house broken (except when he drinks too much water and pees on the floor), and he always looks so happy swaying in the sunlight. I heart Fern.