Please stop screaming about how you lost your lighter, you have no money to buy a bus pass and you just want to die. I can hear every word/whine through the floor of my new upstairs apartment, and I can’t sleep because you are practically sobbing. Hint: Don’t drink a case of beer by yourself when stressed about life…it can be hazardous to your health and to my much-needed eight hours of sleep.

Oh, and Neighbor Bob’s wife? Can you please find his lighter? I believe he slurred, “where’s my f*%king lighter?” at least 7.5 times. I would have thrown one down to him, but I thought maybe I should try to mind my own business while listening to every syllable.

Thanks so much,